This afternoon

We worked out with our Trainer Zane, I am very grateful to Zane and all the care and patience he has for our family.
He really has helped the whole family. We had a very nice work out and it has inspired me to get more of a workout tomorrow. I plan to get the walking back up to 3 miles daily. I was feeling pretty poorly before the workout with my weight loss for the week. However Zane encouraged me and told me I was doing great.- Glad we had the workout today.

Things do change

Before the show

 Today, When you love someone you do not see they have a weight problem. (speaking of Jerry) We knew Patience was gaining because it was clear-  The Christmas photo was when patience was a normal weight for a two year old. And the bottom photo was when she started to put on the weight. Still cute, but we were starting to see changes. We had no idea the Fat free cookies and fat free foods were putting on weight for our baby girl. My other two children do not have a weight issue. I did what I did based on the knowledge I had. Taking her to doctor after doctor they kept telling me She will grow out of it. Feed her more carbs. The carbs was something her body could not process.

They had actually written in the doctor's reports Mother seems obessed with daughters weight. UH Yeah my daughter was gaining 10 pounds every month. In two years time she went from a normal weight to being almost 100 pounds.Like I said we did what we did based on the knowledge we had. Anytime I would suggest a no carb diet they would say NOOOOO!! I am so thankful for Dr.PHils help. Patience is still overweight however there are children just as big. And when I see those children eating the school food and their chips, and cookies I get upset.
I think to myself what if they never get help the way we did. What if they live a overweight life. It is one thing for the parents to be overweight but for a child it breaks my heart.

Feelings

In order for me to lose the weight I have to work through this grief. I am being honest. My faith has not shifted. And I know God did not give me a spirit of fear.I do not want to go to the doctor and have her tell me more bad news. I'm scared. I am thinking everything is going to be fine. But as I have learned this year your health can fail.  I am working out more it isn't easy.

I love this song, It has different meanings to different people for me it reminds me of how I felt hearing the news of the loss of the baby, hearing the health news. I wish so much I could have saved my daughters life.  My weight has went down two more pounds. I am not losing like Jerry- but I do the best I can. He works out more Trying though. With Gods help I will do this.

http://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=UksIFm8Ru6s